Why Comparison? Rather look for child’s happiness…

By Sadhana - April, 11th 2018

The line, “Don’t compare yourself with others,” will definitely bring childhood memories of their elders or well wishers saying it. When growing up, we were reminded by many people around us, yet, your childishness made you ignore or question the validity of that line, regardless of how strongly your parents or elders might have taught you.
Now, when we grow up, we repeat the same thing to our children.
Why?
Because we know how we wrongly ignored it or disregarded the teaching and we know the result of it. And definitely we don’t want our kids or next generation to repeat the mistake of comparing themselves with others and feel down in anything they do. We all know and agree that comparison is a bad thing and steals the joy from your kids work and pride.
Here is why:

1. Comparing with others at school or outside at work for kids or elders will only deplete their energy and keep the self esteem run low, confidence levels run low. If the confidence is low, the kids cannot even achieve what they are immediately capable of.
2. If you as parents are doing the comparison in anything, please avoid doing so. It will create a sense of insecurity in their young minds. And take all the efforts to make them not compare with their peers, in anything, even their ranks/scores.
3. Every child is uniquely capable of something that they can do best. Bring the best in them. If you compare, they cannot reach even a fraction of their capabilities.
4. Don’t do similar comparison of yourself with your peers at work or outside work. They will think you don’t mean when you teach them. Lead by example.

Next time if you child comes to you and says, “I am not better than so and so…”  talk to the child about their own talents and how they can work to bring the best in them.

You may then ask,
Will they become impassioned? Or shed their goals or dreams?

Not at all. In order to continue their zeal to learn more and do better at school, help them set new goals for each quarter/trimester based on their own previous scores. If they performed at 70% last time, ask them to set a higher but realistic goal for 75% this time and make them understand their weak areas and aid them in improving on those areas. They will grow into resilient talented adults and that is what the society needs and appreciates.

Instead of measuring the child’s success by their grades/ranks/marks, measure their happiness and satisfaction. When they are healthy and happy, then only they can reach their maximum potential and perform their best. Comparison on the other hand will lower their self-esteem and make them feel incapable. Encourage their talents and skills and correct their mistakes, nudge them in the right direction. In the end, every parent want their child to be happy and successful.